Blogging lesson of the week! If you post, more people look at you’re posts.
I really should have realised this sooner …….
Anyway, onto the topic of the day – The Fault In Our Stars *breaks down into hysterical sobs*
~ three hours later ~
So if you haven’t read it, I’ll try do a brief summary for you, and then do massive River-Song-Spoiler-Alerts for the bits I just can’t contain 😀
Everyone happy? Let’s move on 😀
*GOD Elly, why did you give me this book!!!*
Well, the blurb is:
Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel’s story is about to be completely rewritten.
WHAT SORT OF A BLURB IS THAT????
THAT IS A RUBBISH BLURB! SOMEONE SHOULD WRITE A BETTER ONE!!
Wait – I have one (Okay, so the Time Magazine came up with this simple, simple quote):
Damn near genius.
And then Troye Sivan did this music video about it (no spoilers I promise) which made me cry even before I’d read the book!:
AND NOW I CRY EVEN MORE!
Anyway, it’s about these two kids (feel weird calling them kids – they’re older than me!) who both have cancer and they’re journeys and one of the best bits about it is that IT’S JUST SO FUNNY! I know it’s sounds weird but John Green (the author – Vlogbrothers? See, you knew you’d heard the name somewhere!) manages to make such a difficult thing both hysterically funny and heart-breakingly sad, sometimes in the space of a few pages!
This is the cover:
And this photo will make people who have read the book have a FEELS fit, and is spoiler free for everyone else!:
Now this bit is MAJOR RIVER-SONG-SPOILER ALERT!
*spoiler alert!* *spoiler alert!*
I think some of my favourite scenes are the eulogies – seriously, how is it possible to be laughing that hard and crying that much in the space of a few LINES!!!
So because I’m a complete crying wreck right now, I might as well share with you the three best eulogies ever written.
Isaac’s Eulogy for Augustus:
“Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his literal one sucked, or because he knew more about how to hold a cigarette than any nonsmoker in history, or because he got eighteen years when he should’ve gotten more.’
‘Seventeen,’ Gus corrected.
‘I’m assuming you’ve got some time, you interupting bastard.
‘I’m telling you,’ Isaac continued, ‘Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness.
‘But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.’
Hazel’s Eulogy for Augustus:
‘My name is Hazel. Augustus Waters was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won’t be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Gus Knew. Gus Knows. I will not tell you our love story, because-like all real love stories- it will die with us, as it should. I’d hoped that he’d be eulogizing me, because there’s no one I’d rather have…, I can’t talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.’
Augustus’ Eulogy for Hazel (Written in a letter to Peter Van Houten):