Ramblings of a Misguided Squirrel

~Musings on Life from a Squirrel and her resident Umpa Lumpa~

A Very Stevely Christmas

on December 23, 2012

Disciples of  the Steve;

Greetings. Myself, Jeff and Harry (the green magical and green non-magical snakes) have gathered in peace, harmony and the comfort of a rental agreement,  to offer you

A VERY STEVELY CHRISTMAS.

This, readers, is the first installment of a Christmas story that spans generations, crosses continents and was passed on to me by my father, and his father before him, and his father before him (all named Steve). Before that there was a string of uncles and a sheep, but we need not go into that now.

The story begins on a snowy winters night, many years ago ……

In the town of Nazareth lived a young women who’s name was Mary. One day, as she was doing her online shopping, and angel appeared unto her.

“Do not be afraid! I bring you tidings of great joy – you have over 1000 likes on Facebook!”

And lo, Mary was filled with joy.

“My name is Gabriel (gabriel.angel@gmail.com) and, along with my dear friend Steve ~

Hello!

~ I have come. Now, there was one other thing, what was it …. ah yes, you are to have a baby, blah blah blah, his name will be Jesus, blah blah blah, he is the Son of God, blah blah blah, and he will die on the cross. Have fun!”

  With that, the angel disappeared.

“What was that last bit?” asked Mary “Oh well, I’m sure it doesn’t matter …”

She then left to find her phone, so she could text her boyfriend Joseph with the news.

Later that same day …

“What do you mean you delivered my message? I thought I’d cancelled that text!”

O Gracious Lord, it was Steve ~

Hello!

~ I had nothing to do with it, he made me do it ~

Hello!

~ and I think he should be executed.

Hel – What?!?

Shut up Steve.”

Back down on Earth …

“So, that’ll be 1 donkey, two packs, three oxen and a carrot. Do you think we need anything else dear?”

Joseph shook his head silently. She’d been doing this for three hours so far. They were only going to Bethlehem because she was worried about the state hospitals round here.

“Oh, I forgot to tell Aunt Mabel that we’re leaving …….”

 

So, worshipers of the Great God Steve – how are you? Do you think Steve will escape Death? Will Mary and Joseph EVER reach Bethlehem? Installment number two will arrive shortly, so until then,

Peace and Bananas,

STEVE ALMIGHTY

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3 responses to “A Very Stevely Christmas

  1. Steve insists this story has been passed down through generations. I’m not sure myself….. 😀 And I never knew you had family Steve?!?!

  2. […] If you want to hear a good explanation of the ‘orignal’ christmas tale follow the link: https://ihaveaumpalumpaonmyhead.wordpress.com/2012/12/23/a-very-stevely-christmas/. I laughed my multicoloured odd socks off at […]

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